I had a bad day yesterday, a very bad day. Whether it was stress at work, dealing with my own personal issues, or disappointments in the lives of people I love around me, it was an emotionally and physically draining day. A day that I felt like I could have gone home, crawled under the covers and never come out. We've all dealt with our fair share of disappointments, but yesterday it seemed like the accumulation of everything over the past several months came rushing down on top of me smothering me to the point that I didn't think I would ever reach the top to come up for air. Yesterday, I finally admitted that I had hit rock bottom, I am emotionally drained, and physically tired. It's not healthy for me or anyone around me. I can't make myself happy or others happy unless I let go and focus on the positives instead of the negatives in my life. I will be the first one to admit that this is not easy for me....not at all. I didn't sleep last night, I couldn't turn my mind off. I cried in Mr. Truly's arms and as he held me, I finally just gave everything up. I gave up my disappointment and anger towards people. I gave up worrying about the stress in my life over things I can't control, and I gave up on my own self-doubt and feelings of inadequacy. I gave up that huge wall I've built around myself and my heart, and I gave up not being able to forgive myself and others for disappointments that have caused my heart so much anger and grief. I finally let go. And even though I may still feel scarred, I feel much stronger, and for the first time in a long time I feel much, much more happy, and finally at peace.
3 comments:
It can be really hard to "put it in Gods hands". We all want to do everything and deal with everything ourselves, no matter how lazy we may be, instead of just "giving it to the Lord". It has taken me, and is still taking me,quite some time to get to a point where I can do this. I think it is a great exercise to try, and very humbling when you do it, and see what he can and will do for you!
I love the scripture bracelets. I know how you feel... it can be so hard to trust God sometimes. I know I should trust Him and not worry but it's definitely a struggle at times. Glad you're feeling better.
What a great post! My mother is going through some stuff. I know everyone takes their own time coming to grips with certain situations, but I am looking forward to the day when she can give everything up like you did.
Where did you get the Scripture bracelets? They are lovely. :)
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